beauty

beauty is at times so up-close & personal that only taking a step back can reveal it

It's been quiet here, for a while. I've been caught up in emotions surrounding my grandmother's death. Thinking about death, passing on. Thinking, too, inevitably, about life. Trying to see what matters most. While I still can. While I'm still free to choose - of sorts - what I fret about, what makes me smile, what touches me.

It's been... hard, of course. But it's also been - ENERGY. I felt like I was high, almost; and then I'd feel heavy, too, and... consequential. Vibrating, spinning.

Of course, meanwhile, life goes on, and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster striking a balance between my emotions and scheduled events like diapers, food, opening the curtains ;) But you know what?! There is beauty in the mundane! Sometimes it takes a shock to the system to see it, but there is comfort in the motions, the ebb and flow of daily life. I've been focusing on what I have and feel as opposed to perpetually wishing for more hours in a day, and it's been... invigorating!

I know it will wear off, a little. Pettiness will take over again, a little. After all, this is life. I wouldn't have the energy to stand on serious crossroads taking stock all the time. Besides, taking stock isn't living, as such, either. I need to make stock, of sorts, in order to take stock, is what I'm saying. But I'm open, you know? For the first time in a long while, I'm saying - I feel strong! I'm ready! Bring it on!

How are you feeling? :)

oma

Very early on Wednesday morning, my grandma, my oma passed away. Very quietly and peacefully in her sleep. She was 87 years old. She lived a long and full life. She was more than ready to let go.

Goodbye oma, have a save journey. And rest peacefully. I'm saving all my good memories in a little box with a red ribbon. You can take a peek if you want :)

spoiled part II

A while ago, I wrote this post. About not being ME, not being true to my soul, not feeling much at all - until through messy vermilion ink something came out. I entered that post in the Dirty Footprints Studio Art Journal LOVE Day party giveaway (I know, it's a mouth full *;)*) because the Me who made that messy heart and wrote that post felt that some bravery was in order.
And then something awesome happened: I won a prize!! I honestly can't remember when I last won anything!!
Barbara of Creative Fires Studio donated a pack of Swiss ephemera including chocolate - that is, Swiss chocolate! - and I was the lucky winner! It took 10 whole days to get here, I had all but given up on Swiss/Dutch postal services, but yesterday a package slapped on the doormat, and here's what was in it:

Before I had actually even properly opened the package to look, two chocolate hearts had already mysteriously disappeared...

But you have to understand - this was Lindt chocolate!! If you don't know what it means, you really do have my deepest sympathy... ;)

There are some lovely old papers in the package that will challenge me out of my comfort zone! I have never used ephemera or done much collage in general, so it will be interesting to explore new techniques. I love that bull :)

Barbara was nice enough to tuck in some extra chocolate! I'm really going to try and save some for ehm... tomorrow? ;)

I know, even as a doting mamma, that this is not the cutest expression on my toddler ;) But in the face of sweet stuff, especially chocolate, he just can't contain himself. I have no idea where he gets it from. None, you hear?!

Thank you so much, Barbara, it was definitely worth the wait :) & I love your little card!

Be sure to go look at her blog. She does awesome self-portraits and shares thought provoking insights. Incidentally, she is also one of the artists teaching a workshop in Dirty Footprints Studio's 21 Secrets, which starts April 1st. It looks like an amazing experience; I'm definitely considering joining. Looking forward to the desciptions of the different workshops being offered this round!

spoiled part I

Last week, I got a basket full of grape hyacinths from the neighbour across the road, to welcome us to our new home. I love these flowers; their colour - that can't come as a surprise ;) - and the delicate white ruffle around the edge of the bell-shaped flowers!

And then this week, a friend brought yellow tulips! Sunshine!

Both are still blooming and pretty, and they've already inspired art-ish-tics (see my 2 previous posts)!

All I can wish for now, is that they speed spring along outside as well.

mindfull

flower

Crappy scan, but some early morning happy art time none the less :)

duh

Ever think or write something that makes you say DUH?
I just wrote:

'I'm feeling so minimised by what I put on pedestals...'

There are WORLDS behind that ;-)