balance

You might not think so, from reading here, but we have lovely days, too ;)

When my head is busy, I tend to use this blog to spill. I need to spill somewhere. I think, rethink and overthink, and it needs to go somewhere. To stop it from spinning & swirling, if only for a day or two. But I have a life, too. I like to think that spilling here makes me more able, elsewhere. Places where I need to be able no matter what. When it comes to my kid, I'm there. He sees me sad, he sees me kicking at life, of course - & I honestly believe that it helps somewhere, later in life, to know your mother is a human being with strengths, struggles and weaknesses, which is another discussion - but he gets my most able, too!

We walked through the woods, over the sand dunes to the beach, yesterday. We had some crisps and drinks on the sand, and while Squirt and his dad wanted to find out how cold the water really still is, me and ouma (my South-African mother-in-law is visiting for two weeks) looked for shells. Nothing like the beach to bring out the inner little girl :) 

We walked back to the car park and had a very late... dunch? linner? I don't quite know what to call food at 3.30 pm, but it was good :) 

Everyone else had pancakes, and I had tuna salad on freshly baked, crunchy-crust bread.

One quarter of a slice, immortalised! I didn't do the texture of the salad any justice, but I practised, which is awesome, right?! ;)

We walked about 7k, got sun-kissed (most of us) & sun-burnt (husband) and had a lovely day :) So this is what happens in this life of mine, too. When I'm not here chewing on something, finding feet. I do that a lot - finding feet. Thinking. Overthinking. I won't pretend I don't. But it's not all that's going on, either. We do funny, light, happy around here, too! Just thought you might like to know ;) I went and found my feet where they actually hung out!

course!

I've been busy, over the past months - figuring out what I love, what's important to me, and how I want to find room for it all in my daily life - there is at least another blog post in that, and it's in the works ;) - but right now, I'm here to share something with you!

If you're FB friends with me, you will have read this before, but Koosje, my talented, prolific and brave friend, has put together a drawing course that's rumoured - and I really do believe those rumours, Jodi is awesome too - to be amazing! She's running the course for the second time, starting on Monday the 14th of January, and I'm going to be in class :D

If you love drawing - whether you think you're talented or not - and you're ready to explore and expand your skills - or just curious to see what you can do - Just Draw It! is definitely worth checking out!

I would love to be classmates - please join us!

style

Of course I've been drawing outside again :D Although not as much as I would have liked to - but there you go. Such is life, such is my life in many aspects at the moment. Still trying to find balance, still sucking at it ;) A work in progress...

But stuff is happening, though! Inspired by this book, a tip from Jodi on her very inspiring blog, I sort of came to a conclusion about my style. My outside style. What I know and love - pen and watercolours - will work beyond these walls, too. Why not?! I can work on being faster, I can work on being a little less into detail, but I don't need to reinvent myself! Hindsight, I really don't get why I made such a big ado about it all - I guess it was nerves about taking the show on the road in the first place ;) Sometimes, apparently, it takes a lot of hard thinking & going round in circles to find you were alright & okay to start with. Hmm! I send myself on wild goose chases! No wonder I can't seem to find balance :D

Here's what I drew on Mother's Day after deciding to stick to what I know:

A little work-in-progress :) Fun to see myself working when I didn't even notice the pictures being taken :) I've found out I'm not as sensitive to my surroundings (specifically: people!) when drawing outside as I thought I'd be - which is another good thing to know! It makes it much easier to plonk myself down somewhere, regardless, and draw!

And here's the final image, some details - involving a bit of creative license - drawn from a bench in the sun, while Amsterdam was busy all around me:

And, last Saturday, I had an art date with Koosje, who actually got me thinking about taking my art outside in the first place :D We met online through Stephanie Levy's Creative Courage e-course and this was the second time we saw each other in real life - while she is already awesome on the 'net, she's even more fun in person :D We spent a really cool afternoon chatting, drawing & painting outside in Amsterdam, which will definitely be repeated! Here's (part of) the loot:

This may sound cheesy, but to heck with it: YAY - from my toes! - to new friends with creative habits!! We should all examine what we loved most when we were kids and find people who'll take it beyond kindergarten with us!! That really is awesome & I'm so grateful :D

Here's to old and new friends who've been out drawing with me - to many more chat & draw dates to come :D This really is a style of getting together and hanging out that I could get used to :D

loot

These are the drawings I came home with after working outside - or at least in public ;) - last week :D

This was lunch on the 26th, on an art date with a friend :) We did lots of walking and talking, and we even managed to draw some :) Lovely day!!

Another art date on Saturday, with a friend in Gouda, to make up for the missed Sketchcrawl the week before :) We sat on a park bench in the garden of a museum, surrounded by beautiful old buildings - but I ended up challenging myself with angles again. I figure the only way to get better is to keep trying ;)

On the way back from Gouda, we ended up in a traffic jam because of road works. And I decided to take out my sketchbook :D I'm really starting to dig the idea of bringing it everywhere :D

And here's my lovely boy. His back, anyway ;) I am having such a hard time with realistic faces... I maimed him in the drawing I did before (which I tore out of my sketchbook, totally going against principles. It really was that bad!). But then I was struck with the brilliant idea that I could focus on his cute little backside ;) The pockets on this pair of jeans are stitched low - just so you know - that wasn't me missing the truth again ;)

That last drawing, on Queen's Day (celebrating the Dutch Queen's BD, fleamarkets everywhere and people wearing lots of orange)? I did it in the park, on the playground, sat on a bench, surrounded by throngs of people! I'm definitely getting braver, and I'm really starting to love just going with the flow! Sure, I hesitated, but I did it, anyway :D

When last did you do something anyway? I'd love to hear :)

tools

Here's number 10* in Red Parka Diaries' drawing challenge: draw your favourite drawing tools and pay homage to them. Because let’s face, they are awesome and we’d be lost without them.

From right to left - because I can ;) - my Japanese brush pen, through JetPens, along with carbon ink cartridges that are permanent and waterproof (I used it to draw the bike in Amsterdam)! I love that pen! Especially because it's cherry red and because it takes courage to put it to the page, so it keeps me on my toes :) Next to it, one of my Big Girl brushes, and one of my Koi waterbrushes (that I - let's be honest here - use a lot more often than my Big Girl brushes these days...). Dr. Ph. Martin's India Ink - I use black the most, but I have a gorgeous colour wheel of them and they are all waterproof! My go-to dip pen with sketch nib. And of course, my watercolour set - a Van Gogh box filled with Winsor & Newton. Mostly artist grade, but there is some cotman left - I'm slowly replacing empty pans :)

At the bottom of the page, my less adventurous but definitely trusty tools. The ones I grab most often really. The tools that take the least amount of courage to pick up - and let's face it, not every day is a day of Great Courage or experimentation. There's my orange mechanical pencil, filled with B leds, my eraser (or what's left of it), and one of my Sakura Pigma Micron fineliners :)

I suppose this is what my drawing could have looked like if I'd kept it simple. Because these are the tools I use most often, and without these, I'd be lost. But I love all the stuff I use. And most of all, I love that it's there to use! That I can grab whatever my mood guides me to and draw! That all of these things are always out on the dining room table - my dudio - making me happy and excited even when I'm not drawing, but merely walking past, or dusting around them! 

I loved drawing my art supplies :) I love looking at art supplies! But of course, most of all, it's about using my art supplies. That's the best homage you can pay them! But it was fun putting them in the spotlight like this, and I think they appreciate it too.

In case you're wondering, I'm still working on my morning coffee. In the first version, I misspelled twice, and in the second version I used colours that are - not quite it, to be very mild & gentle ;) Version three is in the works. It might be up next. But you never know what happens when these tools and my mind start on a trip all their own ;)


* you can have a look at this challenge's number 2, number 9 & number 1 if you want :)

awesome

My mailbox held an awesome surprise, yesterday afternoon :D 

I received this beautiful collaged mail art card! From someone I didn't know! I love a good mystery almost as much as unexpected artsy mail :)

Of course I had to go look at Jo's blog immediately - she makes the most amazing mixed-media collages, I'll definitely be back :) - to see if I could figure out how she got to me & my address! Hah, and there it was! A conspicuous avatar in the 'Followers' gadget! Mystery solved :) Thank you, Robin, for being liberal with my postal address ;) I love it :)

& thank you Jo, SO much!! Comments on my blogposts are awesome, but this? This is so much more! A blog comment that I can touch and frame! My mailbox was happy, but me? I'm over the moon :D xx

yellow

mail

Was I complaining that I wanted to have her mailbox just the other day, because she was receiving some awesome, artistic mail art, today I received this in mine!

Just to say thank you for the Christmas cards I sent out in comment gratitude :)
Robin, thank you, so very much!! This made my day, and quite possibly will make tomorrow as well :) Receiving arty mail from someone who makes me smile with pretty much every blog post she writes is... well... it makes me mushy... I'm going to go get it a frame, and look at it every day! That's how happy this makes me! At least!

gratitude

You are amazing. I just wanted you to know that. I am blown away by the heartfelt comments on my last blog post, and the ones before that. Thank you so much for taking the time to support me and lift my spirits when I'm being awkward about my art. It really means the world to me!

I know that at times it seems I'm nothing but awkward about my art, but I'm not. Not all the time :) I just need to dump, sometimes. To let go of some of the stuff that's cramping my style and making it hard to listen inside.

I love it - so much! - that you talk to me! It really does help!

I've been doing way more painting than I've been sharing here lately, but I will post about that later. There's a reason why there is no illustration to this post :) I want to do something for you. To say 'thank you' properly. And to wish you happy holidays!

If you leave me a comment here or per email (turquoise.tortoise(at)yahoo.co.uk) and send me you postal address (email or in a FaceBook message), I'll send you a handwritten card of my own design, per post :) Because I really, deeply, appreciate you being here.

Day 13

This was scary! I'd wanted to try drawing outside, in a public space for ages, but I just wasn't brave enough. Yet. Today, I brought my art journal and some not much used supplies (crayons and felt tips) to Artis Zoo. I wasn't sure they were going to leave the bag I carried, but bringing them made me feel good :)

Until we got to the Butterfly Pavilion, where it's nice and tropical, and I could sit down on the floor. This is not necessarily what I wanted to draw - I would have prefered to draw an animal, but this was the spot we chose to sit, so this was the stuff that ended up in my journal :) I brought paper for Squirt too, and we sat drawing together, which was awesome! It was cool to hear people whisper that it was a great idea!

I'm totally impressed with myself :) I'll be doing more of this! I'm grateful that today I plucked up courage and drew in a public space, with unfamiliar media & a subject I wouldn't have picked naturally. I stepped outside my comfort zone in a big way, and it was amazing! I really needed something like this right now :)

Day 9

Yesterday, we went on a little Road Trip by Bike! Inspired by Stephanie Levy & her awesome Creative Courage e-course. Taking a detour to go shopping, looking at things we would normally just pass, stopping where we wouldn't on a run-of-the-mill Wednesday :) We had a lovely time, me & Squirt, and when it was time for bed, he asked me if we could do another day like this tomorrow :) That was probably partly inspired by the fact that we had poffertjes (sort of small puffy pancakes served with melting butter and powdered sugar) for lunch, but still! We had fun together!

Gratitude for today? Definitely, for taking the time to slow down. There is a drawing in this, but it's in the Work in Progress-stages still. I'll share it when it's done!

playing

Making art together, me & my 'baby' :) Some much needed 'about nothing'. We should all play more. I mean that!

spoiled part II

A while ago, I wrote this post. About not being ME, not being true to my soul, not feeling much at all - until through messy vermilion ink something came out. I entered that post in the Dirty Footprints Studio Art Journal LOVE Day party giveaway (I know, it's a mouth full *;)*) because the Me who made that messy heart and wrote that post felt that some bravery was in order.
And then something awesome happened: I won a prize!! I honestly can't remember when I last won anything!!
Barbara of Creative Fires Studio donated a pack of Swiss ephemera including chocolate - that is, Swiss chocolate! - and I was the lucky winner! It took 10 whole days to get here, I had all but given up on Swiss/Dutch postal services, but yesterday a package slapped on the doormat, and here's what was in it:

Before I had actually even properly opened the package to look, two chocolate hearts had already mysteriously disappeared...

But you have to understand - this was Lindt chocolate!! If you don't know what it means, you really do have my deepest sympathy... ;)

There are some lovely old papers in the package that will challenge me out of my comfort zone! I have never used ephemera or done much collage in general, so it will be interesting to explore new techniques. I love that bull :)

Barbara was nice enough to tuck in some extra chocolate! I'm really going to try and save some for ehm... tomorrow? ;)

I know, even as a doting mamma, that this is not the cutest expression on my toddler ;) But in the face of sweet stuff, especially chocolate, he just can't contain himself. I have no idea where he gets it from. None, you hear?!

Thank you so much, Barbara, it was definitely worth the wait :) & I love your little card!

Be sure to go look at her blog. She does awesome self-portraits and shares thought provoking insights. Incidentally, she is also one of the artists teaching a workshop in Dirty Footprints Studio's 21 Secrets, which starts April 1st. It looks like an amazing experience; I'm definitely considering joining. Looking forward to the desciptions of the different workshops being offered this round!

spoiled part I

Last week, I got a basket full of grape hyacinths from the neighbour across the road, to welcome us to our new home. I love these flowers; their colour - that can't come as a surprise ;) - and the delicate white ruffle around the edge of the bell-shaped flowers!

And then this week, a friend brought yellow tulips! Sunshine!

Both are still blooming and pretty, and they've already inspired art-ish-tics (see my 2 previous posts)!

All I can wish for now, is that they speed spring along outside as well.

flower

Crappy scan, but some early morning happy art time none the less :)

playing

I'm taking Alisa Burke's online sketching class. I love what she does in her own sketchbook, and I'm looking forward to some insight into techniques, especially shading. I'm really bad at shading!
I'm also a little at a loss when it comes to inspiration at the moment. Can't expect fire trucks and the like to drive through this little square every week just to entertain my pens ;)

This first week has been fun. She suggested to make an inventory of supplies, to see what you can do with what you've got. And I've got a lot... It's been sort of liberating to dive right in to play with colours and pen, without having a plan! I never knew you could actually have fun with pens that aren't waterproof!

So I'm looking forward to what's next! It's been really good to fill my 'art time' with a little more than staring at a blank page feeling annoyed, not coming up with something good all on my own... I'm sure my inspiration will resurface (eventually), but there is nothing wrong with learning something in the mean time ;)

two

Mr Funny Pants turned TWO last Saturday! Two whole years of having this beautiful boy in my life, two years since becoming a mamma! It's been amazing, awesome, wonderful, crazy, weird (in a good way, mostly!), wild; it's a continuous learning curve that's blowing my socks off!

I love it! I LOVE my baby boy, who is most definitely not a baby boy anymore, but will forever be my baby boy :)

Thank you so much for being you & being here, Squirt! You've made my world a much better, more fun, happier, softer & kinder place to dwell in :)

foot

I've had this shot in my head since I found out I was pregnant... It just took me untill this beautiful warm, sunny late Summer Sunday to take it!

There is something infinitely touching about a bare baby foot dangling...

alchemy

Silly. & loving it :)

photo challenge: SPARKLE

A few weeks ago, Mridula from Blogaloorgirl's Blog sent me an email asking me if I'd done any photography recently. And I hadn't, not really. Which got me thinking. I love photography much! But at times it's hard to find objects or subjects to talk to your lens, especially when inspiration is running low. When there's a lot going on in my head, I find I'm not looking around at the world with as much wonder as I need to restock the proverbial well, to paraphrase Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way.

So... I suggested a photo challenge! I've done a couple of courses in photography, and I've found it's much easier to capture something worthwhile when you know what you're looking for! It's great to have a theme to work with; it gets the creative juices flowing and it helps me open my eyes to what's been staring me in the face all along!

Luckily, Mridula accepted, and she came up with the first theme: SPARKLE.
Which was a challenge for me, to say the least ;) I don't know whether anyone who knows me would actually classify me as the outgoing type, but in my own skin, I feel I'm more of an introvert. I get it, it's a 'duh!' thing to say. But much of the beauty I see around me gets chewed on and put away on shelves in my mind, never seeing the light of day. Never mind sparkle!
But I love a good challenge, it really works for me - as far as photography is concerned anyway ;) - so I set out on a quest to find sparkle in my world :)

Here is a rose from the bunch of beautiful flowers we got as a present for our wedding anniversary last Wednesday. The water drops didn't really want to sparkle much, even with the low sunlight I had to wait for - for days! Which isn't that strange, really, considering we've been married for 10 years now. Nothing wrong with that, just that it's more the soft light of a place to call home than it is the dazzling sparkle I was looking for ;)

Here are some shards of glass I found in the bike lane on my way to the shops. They shouldn't be there, for various reasons, and I felt they might do prettier work on my coffee table, too. Oh, the funny looks I got when I got down on my knees to pick some up ;) I love that - giving people something to talk about around the dinner table ;)

I still didn't feel like I got all the sparkle out of the challenge, so I added the one piece of costume jewelry I own into the mix to see what that would do... I don't know what it is, but - there wasn't any real sparkle to be had... You know, the kind with the light-star, refraction or whatever it's called... Maybe my lighting wasn't what I thought the early Autumn sun was going to be, and maybe I just didn't do it right, but I couldn't get what I was looking for.

So here we are, at the biggest cliche of them all, when it comes to sparkle... It suddenly hit me! If I'm such an introvert, at least by my own sense of being, then surely the sparkle must be inside! From the senses being tickled in every way imaginable to the world of possibilities behind it all - eyes are the windows to the soul (to stick with cliche!). If it sparkles anywhere, surely it must be there! Not brilliant photography, but honest sparkle if I say so myself :)

There. That's it. My ode to the sparkling beauty inside :) Hop on over to Mridula's post to see what she came up with!

Now I had to come up with a new theme, and here it is: QUIET.
That might not be a much easier thing to capture, but the word's been playing in my head (for various reasons - haha) for weeks now, and I couldn't ignore it...

Our next deadline is Sunday 26th September (if that's okay Mridula?) - but we might post sooner, depending on how it's going. If there is anyone out there reading this, who wants to give it a go too, whether it's sparkle, quiet or the next little/big theme, I'd love to see! Send me an email or leave a comment here or over at Mridula's!