comfort

8 days - interesting ;) I set my goal for a blog post a week, and for the past 4 weeks, I've ended up flying in a day late. I'd love to say that's unusual for me, but it's not. Back when I was in the mud, I was always on time, and I'd come to identify with that. I have always thought of myself as punctual, but I'm not! Just another wart I'm learning to embrace ;)

It's all tied to my relationship with time. Most things are, in the end. Whether it's about meeting someone on time (including getting my kid to school and picking him up again...), forgetting time and getting carried away, being aware of time when I know there's something I've got to do and let that get in the way of forgetting time, or the tension when I try to get 'it all' done - time is an issue. Relationships are hard work, and this one is no different. I'd love to say I'm here because I've figured it all out, but I'm not. I'm just complaining ;)

I've had a crazy week, but a juicy one! A different approach to much of everything I do on a daily basis - because I did most of it in heels :)

These heels :) I even took them outside for shopping! Once. Only once. So far. It was hard! It was hard, and funny :) I smiled almost the whole way out and back, because I felt so unable :) I was stumbling on them - I'm pretty sure there was nothing sexy about me trying to get around on them - but I loved it! Because I felt so unable!

After going through life for a while, we get comfortable, right? We've got our routines, and it works, so why mess with it all? I'm right there with you. I'm all about learning curves and - when trying to embrace who I already am, including the warts - there are many of those; but then there are the normal things, the day-to-day stuff that's working, and because there are so many challenges all over the place anyway, why challenge the stuff that's good, the things that are in working order, the things that are solid just the way they are?

No need to do that, of course. At all. But I found myself with these heels this week; these heels and a promise made to my 4-year-old :) So I was going to practise. And everything routine became a challenge just like that. There was no conscious decision to smile about it all - of course, that would have been the Zen way, and I'm not really there quite yet ;) - but it just sort of happened! These heels and my inability made me laugh out loud :) Especially when I decided to go out in them and buy eggs :D

There is nothing wrong with comfortable. And if time is an issue, being fine with the routine way I do many of the recurring household chores is perfect. I'm not challenging you or myself to do something different when it's working, and I'm not saying you're boring when you do the laundry wearing pyjamas - at all! Some of the mundane daily stuff is boring and has to be dealt with swiftly so we can get on being succulent and wild elsewhere!

But these heels; this actual, literal walk outside my comfort zone - there is a parallel to the way I'm leaning into me and the warts, the way I challenge myself to embrace the things I can and can't quite do! That's why wearing them is so juicy eventhough - no, because I still look quite ridiculous trying to walk as if I can ;)

It reminds me, quite forcefully, quite literally, that there are many things I could still learn to do - things that are solidly outside my current comfort zone! That I have many muscles that are underused, but there for the training, if I choose to do so! That it's all in the choices, really - whether I want to stay comfortable where I am comfortable, or whether I want to spice it up a little! I'm learning to stand tall in who I am - that's inside my whole Warts & All theme. And it's hard. But those heels show me that I can do it - beyond what happens when wearing heels when you're 5'11" ;) It's really just a matter of training the muscles that will help me stretch to the full extent of who I am :D

I've been challenged to go outside my usual by Koosje and her absolutely awesome ecourse as well, over the past two weeks! Last week was all about graphite, this week we've been working with coloured pencils :) This post's drawings were done as assignments :) I'm having so much fun, drawing outside my home-made box, learning new skills, and yes, working underused muscles ;) After a week of coloured pencils and heels, my whole body hurts - and I'm not kidding! Maybe I'm taking this all a little too seriously? Hah, probably. Apparently I can be quite unstoppable outside my comfort zone ;) Because I might not be hanging out where I thought I was most comfortable, these days, but a zone it still is! There is flow, when I travel - energy in new paths! I really had one crazy week :D

The only thing all this doesn't do, is change my relationship with time for the better. I get carried away, take more time than I have, especially for the mundane & routine. But somewhere, I'm convinced - for now, quite conveniently ;) - that's a good thing. I can work on that, later! I'm saving it for boring times ;)

Big X to Koosje & my kid :D For making things so interesting, and juicy :D

What are you up to these days?