Wednesday, January 18, 2012

loitering


This is my Tree of Life. This is where my passions live! I have passions! I have known and lived what makes me happy off and on over the past two years, but only too recently found out that they make me, pretty much!

Create in the broadest sense of the word - creating a life, as creatively as possible ;) But of course even more as in, literally pouring myself onto paper - drawing life, illustrating my moodswings. Finding humour & a smile in the nitty-gritty. It sucks me right out of my stress, my fears and my anxieties! It might not last beyond the time I spend with my paper and paints, but there, in that moment, it feels manageable. That's an awesome start, I think!

And excavate - getting closer to my truths. Peeling away layers of obstacle and blah and all that stuff I've told myself about myself for way too long... Becoming Me. The Me my Inner Toddler wanted to grow up to be. Authentic, if you like the Big Words... And then - needless to add perhaps - find a drawing in it all :) These two go hand in hand! And it's a neverending story, of course. Which is a very lucky thing, because I love that tree. It's where my passions live!

But when all is said and done? Even though I know where my happy lives? This...

... is where I spend a ridiculous amount of time. Procrastination is a straight-backed chair in a cold, bare room. When you think about it. When you really get into the concept. It never makes you feel better, or rested, or happy with yourself.

So, why?! That's what I'm trying to figure out. Knowing all that I know about me, my Tree and my passions, why do I end up sitting on that uncomfortable chair a whole lot more than I can... explain?!

What makes you procrastinate? Do you know? I'd love to hear your insights! :)

8 comments:

  1. You are not alone in that straight backed chair - it's really hard to get out, and when you do you wonder why you went there in the first place. I guess fear is why we procrastinate - it doesn't have to be reasonable for it too happen

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, great paintings Yvonne. I love the way you use your art to illustrate your feelings and I really "get it". The other thing I love with your art is your sense of humour. So funny and so on the money! As for procrastinating; yes, I would agree - probably fear. If you're the sort of person who likes to put 150% into everything you do then "getting it exactly right" becomes so important - almost too important - stopping the action itself. Although, I kind of believe that fear shouldn't be present in art because if you don't like what you've created you just bin it! Gosh, I do that several times on a daily basis. More tricky to do this in other areas of life though. I think a great skill to try and develop is setting yourself time goals and writing lists of things you are going to accomplish that day. It works for me - I never get all my jobs done, and that's fine, but I get more done than I would have if I hadn't written the list. Somehow writing things down and having goals stops me procrastinating - I look at the length of the list and feel a sense of urgency creeping over me and then just have to get on with it. Analysing is paralysing - I love that saying!xx
    P.S Please share how you get your washes so smooth. What's your secret!?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Procrastination: 'It never makes you feel better, or rested, or happy with yourself'. That's right!

    ReplyDelete
  4. So awesome. The detail I love the most? The light underneath, in the dark of excavation. Procrastination is a naughty, naughty girl. So why do we embrace and reward her so often? For me, I know it is because I am afraid. Afraid of being found out that I am not an artist, my work is no good, I am a fraud, that I will not succeed, that I do all this work for nothing. Today I am feeling like that but I think it's because I am not feeling 100%. Some days are fantastic and everything is flowing and working and I feel like a million bucks. But I guess you can't have one without the other, right? There is no light without dark? Just like the excavation in your picture. xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. Procrastination I know. But explaining it is darn difficult. So I will be silent on that part until I can give it words. True words.

    I do want to say something else.
    About your drawings.

    I like the way you look at the world.

    x n

    ReplyDelete
  6. AWESOME illustrations, Yvonne! Perfect for procrastination! (All it needs now is the pointy ‘Dunce’ hat! LOL) Why do we let the fear stagnate us? I don’t know, but it’s absolutely human! I guess it’s the Yin/Yang of life. Can’t have light without dark, good without evil, happiness without sadness. How would we know when to appreciate the good, happy or light without their contrasts?

    ReplyDelete
  7. What makes me procrastinate.. humm, I think my problem is, that I like too many things. At the end of the day, I tell myself, "Now I will draw a little bit", but then I remember I promised someone to make a cake, or I wanted to take some photos, or I had to call that person, or I had to clean up that thing, or read this book, or look at that ilustrator's work in the web... and then, where did I leave my wish to draw? I often wonder why can't I fix my mind just to one proyect and go only for it. No way!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Actually I love both your tree of life and the procrastination chair! You know, I am learning to totally forgive myself when I procrastinate. My husband pointed out to me that I always try to do too much and never give myself time to do nothing – and procrastination is how my mind and body compensate for that – it kind of forces me to decompress. Not feeling guilty about procrastinating has done amazing things to my emotional health – and I found that I really don't have to worry, because no matter how much I procrastinate, I will eventually naturally start doing stuff (and when I do, nobody can stop me) :-)

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for letting me in on your thoughts!