Rant & lesson for today -
It's actually totally warped to want people to appreciate all the upheaval you are facing, too. The fact that some people perpetually think their problems are bigger, should point you to notice the beauty in your life. To take it on as a compliment. To smell roses! To be more compassionate and kind - both to yourself and to others! To be graciously grateful.
& how I suck at that! Do you think it's a women's thing? To want to be appreciated for our struggles, instead of our ability to see silver linings?
I don’t think it’s warped at all! But I do think we should also take time to see and appreciate the good things.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's a women's thing Yvonne. I know men who "have" or "do" this too :-)
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's something in nature. Who you are. I recognize the feeling. Funny thing is is that something is shifting in my thoughts: lately I think we should all appreciate anything that someone goes through. Whether it's a struggle or a silver lining.
Sharing the good & the bad. Whether someone else understands what you are going through doesn't matter. It's the fact that you dare to share.
I hope I was able to make myself clear in this crooked english ;-)
Robin, I agree with you, it isn't warped in itself to want people to take you seriously of course. I often use deeper conversations to sound myself out and connect, it helps me get clearer. & it can feel amazing when someone says 'I get you, that's awful!'
ReplyDeleteBut what happened the other day, after talking to two seperate friends, I was sort of wishing my problems were BIGGER so they'd appreciate me more. And that's warped, to me! My 'stuff' is what it is & as bad as it can feel to me to live through, it's refreshing to change perspective for a couple of moments.
Talking to some people can feel like you're in a competition of who's suffering the worst - and that's a cycle I want to break! If they want to feel like the Universe is out to get them - then it probably is. & that's a sad, sad thing!
Nicole, your English isn't that crooked ;) I understand what you're saying completely - & I agree. Appreciating the beauty in all people is definitely part of my 'mission' :) But I'm feeling these days that a lot of people are complaining ALL the time - no silver lining is ever bright enough!
ReplyDeleteLet's share the bad AND the good indeed! It's okay to see the good, too, and to talk about it! I'm the first to admit that it's hard. I think many of us (overhere, in NL, at least) were raised to 'please don't think you're special!' - so it's easier to complain or feel insecure. I've come across quite a few people who have apologetically said 'I just don't have many problems...' - how sad is that?! (I mean the apologising-bit, not the fact that they don't have problems ;))
It's good to see the light, smell the roses and appreciate at times too! It helps the soul to grow! I think this surfaced as part of my 'quest' for gratitude :) There really is a whole lot in many a life to be grateful for, if you have the courage to look past less-than-perfect...
Thank you for sharing your insight - I love it! We should appreciate other people more for all they are!
Hi lovely Yvonne!.. Gosh I love your honesty!..
ReplyDeleteI feel that it can make quite a difference in your life when
1).. you make a decision to be the change you would like to see in the world and you watch 'closely' what are the words coming out of my mouth.. are they just mindless complaining/negativity or am I consciously choosing something positive to share with someone today.
When you truly watch ,, you can start to catch yourself mid sentence and then switch it up. Sometimes the things we are complaining about is something we just need to make a decision on and then ACT upon , just do it , just make a change. But if we choose to ignore it , we can talk to others , complain in the hopes that they will help us feel better. If the person is also doing some mindless complaining in the hopes that you will help THEM feel better , they will not really even hear what you are talking about,.. a mindless circle.
If you make the choice to only discuss a 'true situation with a very close friend who you are very well connected' to , that is different , but most of the time the best one is your intuition.. and getting clear , and gathering courage to make a change /decision.
When you start to only share the positive with others , you start to feel better , you notice more positive in your day, people say you are always happy , you start to help them feel happier , you start to only want to discuss uplifting topics ( unless someone has a 'genuine problem that you can help them with , then you are sharing happiness with the world , and your day just starts getting brighter and brighter.
A lot of our problems are just an illusion , they often come down to fear.. or a decision that we are putting off acting on :).
.I used to do this too.. then i decided to try this way.. now my tolerance level has changed , I feel uncomfortable in my stomach if I am just complaining for the sake of it , or listening to someone else , complaining about someone or gossiping.. and I now know , to switch up the conversation , as this is not really benefiting either of us !
Love , Helen